Slightly frustrated...

I went to the doctor's on Monday. Spent a good hour waiting for him to see me, biting my nails the whole time. I don't think I've ever been that nervous before, but I think I was justified in my anxiety. This is a big deal.

I suppose what was bothering me the most was that I wasn't sure if I would be able to get a diagnosis the same day or if I would have to wait. As I had feared... I have to wait. And god, it's driving me fucking batty. I hate not knowing.

I went to the hospital yesterday to have my blood drawn. Supposedly, it'll be back from the lab by the end of the week. The lab will fax the results to my doctor, and my doctor will get back to me. I don't know what he'll say when he finally calls me, but I suppose any news would be good news at this point. I'll take bad news over no news; at least then, I can start figuring out what to do.

Some part of me wishes that I didn't have to do this by myself. Maybe it's not fair to want to share the burden, but... this is tough. Really tough. The waiting, the uncertainty, and the craziness in between is not something that I care to experience by myself.

In the meantime, though, I'll count my blessings. Some good things have been happening, too. I've been hanging out with this really great guy, so...

We'll see.

The right thing to guide us is right here inside us.

No one can divide us when the light is nearly gone.

But just like a heartbeat, the drum beat carries on...